✳ OFFICIALLY UNOFFICIAL. COMPLETELY UNRESTED. $TUBGUY · THE MORNING-AFTER MEMECOIN
TUBGUY — bathtub on wheels
A LEGENDARY MORNING AFTER

NO CLOTHES.
NO MEMORIES.
ONE BATHTUB.

No clothes. No memories. Just a beer and a bathtub on wheels. Meet TUBGUY — the morning-after memecoin.

100%UNCERTAIN
WHAT HAPPENED
TOKEN TICKER $TUBGUY STATUS SLIGHTLY DAMP
EVIDENCE
IS INCONCLUSIVE ↘
TUBGUY, hungover in a bathtub on wheels after a backyard party
FIG. 01 THE MORNING-AFTER VEHICLE
◉ ALL FOUR WHEELS
ARE EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE
?
✳
A COMMUNITY-POWERED BAD DECISION ✳
SCROLL WHEN THE ROOM STOPS SPINNING
02 A PLAN DRAWN ON A NAPKIN

THE MASTER
PLAN-ish.

We found a pen. Nobody remembers who brought it. Here’s what happens next, probably.

01🫧IN PROGRESS*
PHASE ONE · RIGHT NOW

Find the
bathroom.

Gather the tub people, locate a towel, and figure out how the bathtub acquired wheels in the first place.

*THE BATHROOM IS A THEORY
02🛞NEXT-ish
PHASE TWO · THE GETAWAY

Install
cup holders.

Community-powered pit stop. Add cup holders, a tiny horn, and a playlist nobody can skip.

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
03🧼WHEN WE WAKE UP
PHASE THREE · LEGACY

Become
a cautionary tale.

Take the legend on tour. Leave the world cleaner than we found it. This tub has seen enough.

PLEASE RECYCLE THE CANS

A satirical roadmap for entertainment. No milestones, market outcomes, or future features are guaranteed. Hydrate responsibly.

03 · THE SCIENCE SECTION

VITAL SIGNS (ISH)

One chart. Several questions. Zero recollection.

TUBGUY / USD
MEMORY: N/A☁ ?
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DATA: DEXSCREENERIF YOU'RE READING THIS, DRINK WATER ✳